Taking Back Control

I have been reading a few things and seeing things on the internet about how to gain control over your life. What a great idea! So often people feel so helpless and lost. Who wouldn't like some kind of control over their dreams and aspirations. Then I read on and there are so many ways to do it, making lists, writing in journals, working out, finding hobbies. They are all great ideas. One that I kinda like is write down the bad things at night, and then throw them out. Or on the same vein, write down what makes you happy each morning.

As helpful as they all are and they are all very helpful, I believe they are missing the big picture. They are all incomplete. I have found, though I am struggling with it everyday, if you really want to gain control over your life, you need to lose it first. I know this goes against all of human thinking. I'm not really talking about dying, but giving it up. Give it up to who? Well Jesus naturally.

Jesus said to daily take up your cross and follow him. To me this means that every day I am to lay my life down so that I can follow him. I give up my control of my life and let him lead me. I let the Spirit guide me where I can be the most useful.

Found on this blog.

The thing about control, is that if you work so hard to keep control of everything, you often miss the little things because you are not looking in the right direction. When we fight for control, we stay focused. We miss our children growing up, we miss our families as they also fight for control for themselves. I am not saying you shouldn't try to control yourself, you should have discipline and self control, but if you lead your life in the ways you want to go, you will undoubtedly end up miserable and alone.

I feel I should talk more about self control and discipline. Those are two very important things to have. You should have control over yourself. If you can't control your own emotions and doings, how can God control your life? Discipline is important to have, without discipline we cannot grow into the people God wants us to be. But self control and discipline are not the same as having control over your life. God will lead us, because he is in control of it, we need to keep ourselves focused on God.

"As males, we always want to prove that we are impressive, that we do not need help to handle anything that life throws at us. But in our desire to be respected and present a strong image, our weaknesses actually gain power. The truth is, many of us are isolated and alone, lost in a desert of secret vices and unresolved pain because we have chosen to go it alone."  Andrew Schawb

I felt this quote is a good example of how trying to keep control of our lives really leads to us having less control. Control of our lives is characterized by respect from others, being strong, being the best. But when we have all the control, we tend to be lost and wandering, missing so much of something we can't seem to figure out.

We can see how so many wealthy people are always missing something and so they buy new things, bigger things, faster things to make up for the lack of the one thing. Jesus is completion. I kinda find it funny how one man, one God can be all you could ever want or need. Jesus has no desire to be part of your life. He doesn't want to be your go to guy, your friend, the guy you show off to your friends. He doesn't want a hour each week, or even each day, He wants every hour of every day of every week. He wants all of you, all the time. He wants to be your everything so you can have everything.

If Jesus is everything, and he has total control over your life, then he can bless you with riches that would make Bill Gates feel like a pauper. That is what it is to be a son of God. We are heirs to everything, and everything can be ours if we give up control of our lives, give the reins over to Jesus, and work to bring God glory in all the world.

Community

My WoW time is up in a few weeks. For the first time in 5 years, I have seriously thought about not renewing. The things keeping me there the most, are the few people I call friends, and it being the only way I interact with them. This is a world of distance. Though the web as brought all four corners of the earth together, it also has put a huge distance between the people you actually live close to.

I have friends that I have had since I was a child, they live near by and we meet up from time to time, but most of our interaction is all online now. There is the same distance between me and them as there is between me and my dear friend Hails. My childhood friends live with in 20 mins of me while Hails lives in Australia. Our interaction is about the same. We talk just as often online, we play a WoW or get in vent just as often. It is as if we are all the far away from each other. We live in a digital world stretches as far as the universe is wide.

Online interaction is so much easier, we have screens to protect us, we don't have to look someone in the eye, and we don't need to feel the sting of rejection. We don't have to be nice, we can let the ugliness inside us out and do what we want because there is no one watching what we do. Video games often teach us that if you get mad at someone, get revenge. Most games do not give examples of how to overcome in the face of adversity. They show either brute force or underhanded sneaking will get you what you want. You either punch someone till they give it to you, or you secretly sabotage them until they give it.  A lot of games rarely show you how better things can be if you worked together.

I have found that in my 5+ years of WoW, there are less and less people helping build community and more and more people finding ways to tear down other people. This has spread into the real world now. If you wanted to find a community where you could find help and feel loved, you will only find angry bitterness, distrust, and old grudges. I am talking about you Church. Church used to be about showing the world God's love but now the Church is known for its hypocrisy and intolerance.

I do not mean to say that all churches are that way, more so I mean that is what the news, media and the powers that be, want you to think this is how it is. So we need to work on that perception the world has labeled us with. Did you know the easiest way to change perception of yourself to other people is to have Jesus do it? Yep, you alone will never change its easier to stay the same, even if you have all the good intentions to change and all the right reasons for it. But when you let Jesus work his way, mostly by surrendering all, really following, and losing yourself in him, are you able to really change.

I am working through some big changes, things have been weighing on me that never used to bug me. It started with an unhappiness in World of Warcraft, a sadness in my heart and now it is moving into learning what I can to be a better follower of Christ, to listen to what Jesus really said in the gospel and not try to put my faith into the American Dream of Christianity. It is a long journey, and I will be honest, I am scared where it may lead me, but I want to take the trip regardless. I hope that when I set out here, God will bring me to the point where I can meet my companion.

I think I need to be more social, actually hang out with friends that are close by, instead of playing with them on a game. I plan to keep playing for a bit more, I do not feel my time is completely done. Just need a break from it. In the time I am taking I am going to try and be more like God wants me to be and less like I want me to be. God has been talking to me a lot, he knows what is best for me, even if I feel I should resist it.

Pic from this site.

In the time away, I want to help show the world what Christ is really like, what Christians are really like, and what the church can really be. I want to see a spirit lead church grow from the ashes of the corpse of the old one. I want to go and see the glory of God shine in the world. I want my anger to disappear and be replaced by love from God. I want to be known as a follower of Christ. I want to build a community of believers, gamers, friends and family all striving to be even better than the day before. I want to live in a community where love and kindness goes right beside work and business. Where greed doesn't run our lives, but sharing the gospel does.

These are lofty goals, but I believe Jesus is calling us for something better, not the afterlife, not eternity, those are the gifts for doing what he is calling for us to do. He is calling us for something better in this world, he is calling us for his glory. Come with me on this trip, let us go together into the world and make disciples and shine so brightly that the world will have no choice but to say Christians are full of love and joy. Let's get out there and take care of the world.