Devotional: My Redeemer Lives

"I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand on the earth." 

-Job 19:25

There is a profound difference between believing in a historical figure and knowing a living Savior. When Job uttered these famous words, he wasn't speaking from a place of comfort or prosperity. He was sitting in the ashes of his former life, stripped of his health, his wealth, and his children. His friends had turned into accusers, and his body was failing him.

Yet, in the middle of the darkest corridor of human suffering, Job didn't look at his circumstances to define his God. Instead, he looked past the "now" and anchored his soul in an eternal certainty: "I know that my redeemer lives."

The title "Redeemer" (Go'el in Hebrew) originally referred to a family protector, someone who would step in to advocate for a relative, pay their debts, or vindicate them when they were wronged. Job was declaring that despite his current isolation, he had a Living Advocate.

To say He lives "even to this day" changes everything about how we face our modern struggles. We do not serve a God who is trapped in the pages of ancient history or a Creator who set the world in motion only to walk away. We serve a Redeemer who is active, present, and vibrantly alive in this very second.

Job’s second realization was that this Redeemer would "stand on the earth." This is a promise of ultimate victory. It means that no matter how loud the chaos of the world becomes, or how heavy the weight of personal loss feels, the final word does not belong to death, debt, or despair. The final word belongs to the One who conquered the grave.

Because He lives today:

Your past is covered: He has already paid the price for your redemption.

Your present is held: He is a "very present help" in times of trouble.

Your future is secure: He is already standing at the finish line, waiting to welcome you home.

When you feel like the world is crumbling, remember Job’s grit. Faith isn't the absence of pain; it is the stubborn confidence that the One who redeemed you is alive, active, and moving on your behalf, even when you can't see the next step.

Lord God,

I praise You because You are the Living God. You are not a memory or a philosophy; You are my Living Redeemer. Thank You that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is available to me today, breathing life into my weary spirit and hope into my tired heart.

Forgive me for the times I live as if You are distant or silent. Strengthen my faith so that I can say, like Job, "I know that my Redeemer lives." When the world feels uncertain and my strength feels small, remind me that You are standing firm.

I ask for Your vitality to flood my life today. Help me to live with the joy and the boldness that comes from knowing I am spoken for, fought for, and deeply loved by a Savior who is alive forevermore.

In the mighty name of Jesus,

Amen.

 

You are Light

 Why You Weren’t Made to be Hidden

Devotional: Love as an Action

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him."

— 1 John 4:9

Love is often treated as a feeling or a fleeting emotion, but in this verse, John reminds us that God’s love is a demonstrated action. God didn't just tell us He loved us from a distance; He proved it by stepping into our world.

The depth of this verse lies in the word "sent." It implies a deliberate choice and a significant sacrifice. By sending Jesus, God provided the only bridge for us to move from spiritual death into true, vibrant life. We don’t have to "earn" this affection or strive to be worthy of it; the evidence of His devotion is already hanging on the cross and standing at the empty tomb.

Today, if you feel forgotten or wonder if you matter, look back at 1 John 4:9. You are so deeply valued that the Creator of the universe chose to give His best so that you could have His life.

Lord,

Thank You for the overwhelming evidence of Your love. In moments when I feel overwhelmed or disconnected, remind me that You have already gone to the greatest lengths to reach me. Thank You for sending Your Son, Jesus, so that I don't have to just "get by," but can truly live through Him.

Strengthen my heart today reminding me that I am wanted and redeemed. Let the life of Christ flow through my thoughts, my words, and my actions. When I am weak, be my life and my breath. Help me to walk in the confidence of a child who is perfectly loved.

Amen.

The Price of Love

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." 

Joshua 1:9

 

The Price of Love: A Farewell to My Anchor

Jimmy Carr one said in one of his serious moments in his comedy, "Grief is the price we pay for love." I’ve heard those words before, but I never truly understood them until now. Love is the greatest feeling in the world; to be accepted by someone so completely makes you feel invincible. But there is a math to it that I’m only just learning: the deeper the love, the more the grief is going to hurt.

I am dealing with that debt right now.

The Warrior and the Infection

My mom wasn’t just my mother; she was my friend. She was a "crazy warrior woman", the kind of person who obtains a black belt after having both knees replaced (I still have never heard of this happening by anyone else, let me know if you know someone). She was powerful, a pillar, and a constant in my life. Because of that strength, I never truly believed this would be the end. I thought God would heal her here and let her live a long, healthy life. I wasn't ready to live in a world without her.

I was angry about it. I am still angry about it. I'm angry that an infection could bring down someone so powerful. I am angry the doctors couldn't have done more. I’m angry that God let it happen, and I’m angry that she isn't here when I want her most. I’m not ready to be the "adult" in everything yet. I just want my mom.

The Stabs in the Chest

Grief is a language no one can teach you. It’s found in the strangest places. The other day, I walked by one of those phone mounts that sits high in a cup holder. My mom had one, and it was always in the way when I was her passenger. I used to complain about how "stupid" it was all the time. When I saw it in the store, I felt a physical stab in my chest because I realized I can’t complain to her about it anymore. I just want to tell her I love her one more time and give her a hug.

Even during a recent trip to Brazil with my wife, which was a much-needed reprieve from life, I saw mom there everywhere. I’d see things and think, She would have loved to see a picture of this or I wish i could bring this home for mom. Then, coming back to a house filled with her things and her memory... it is so hard on my heart. Now three months later, having been working on cleaning the house, donating her good clothes to people that need them, knowing the weather is getting warmer and she would want to drive her convertible with the top down in the warm sun., it is hurting just the same. Like the knife has never left my heart.

The Changing Tides

I’ve talked to others who have lost people. They say it gets easier, but I don't think that's the right word. The pain doesn't change; it stays the same. It never actually gets easier. What changes is the "trough" between the highs and the lows. Right now, the pain swells up and overtakes everything I’m doing. In time, I know the space where I can function normally will get longer and longer. But I will miss her every single day until we are reunited in heaven. 

I see that same grief in my family. I think of my sister, who called her nearly every day after work to talk about life and family. I think of my dad, who lost his best friend and his wife of forty-five years. She was more than half of his life. I know I am not alone in the pain, but everyone's pain is unique to them, because mom was something different to each of us. Each of our relationships were unique, sure my sister and I were both her children, but our lives, our experiences, our pain, is unique to us. But we share the same longing, the same pain of losing our mother.

Easter is upon us this year. I don't want to celebrate. I don't want to go to church or do all the things I should do. I don't feel it in my heart because my heart is mourning still. But I will go, because of the empty tomb. It is a promise now, of a resurrection for all of us at the end. I will see mom again, in heaven, the new earth, where she will be playing with her dogs, waiting for me. 

A Future Recalibrated

I had a specific vision of the future. My wife would soon be here, we would have our own home, not far from mom and dad. Mom would take my wife shopping on the days when I had to work, and I would come home and have to unload the car of the things they bought that day. Mom and my wife would cruise around in mom's convertible hair blowing in the drive. My wife and I want to have a daughter, and I wanted my mom there to spoil her, to buy her beautiful dresses, and to be the grandmother she was meant to be. I knew I’d need her help navigating life as I moved into this new chapter of marriage.

Everything changed in the course of a couple of weeks. Some people lose themselves in this kind of change, becoming shadows of who they were. I don't know exactly what the future holds now, but I know I will keep going. I have to. My mom worried about me a lot. About how I would handle her not being here. I told her I would be fine. I know I will see her again. But if I had to tell her how I am doing now, I would tell her not good. I am managing, I am moving forward because I have to, but so much of me wants to give up and disappear. But I will keep going, always forward. 

I will cling to my wife, who is my new anchor, and my life. And I will hold on to the rest of my family, because I’ve learned how limited our time is. And if I am blessed with a daughter, she will grow up knowing the stories of her amazing grandmother, the most wonderful, amazing person in the world. She will read the stories of my mother. Of her love of animals, her love of God, how she could find ways to make everyone she met feel loved and special. 

Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of my mother’s life and the fierce, warrior spirit she shared with us. Though my heart is heavy with the price of this love, I find peace knowing she is resting in Your arms. Please give me the strength to navigate the quiet spaces between the waves of grief, and help me to honor her legacy by loving my family as deeply as she loved us. Until we are reunited, keep her memory bright in my heart. Amen.

I Can't Stand the News

And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of people’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immoralities, thefts, murders, adulteries, greed, evil actions, deceit, self-indulgence, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a person.”


Mark 7:20-23 (CSB)

My wife once asked my why I don't pay more attention to the news. I cant handle the hate in the world. As some may know, I am a fairly negative person to begin with. But today my heart is filled with anger about all the hate and violence. Today Charlie Kirk, the founder of Turning Point USA, an incredible Christian man was killed at one of his rally's in Utah. That someone could ever hate someone else because of words and opinions to the point of wanting to and then killing them is beyond comprehension. 

My once game related and happy news feed has been more filled with regular news as my wife wants me to stay up to date with the world. As I feel the hurt at the loss of an honest and good man, even if you disagreed with his stances, I scrolled further into my google news feed. Looking for something else. Good news, Nintendo announced a new Direct this Friday. Good news, Hyundai is slowly taking shares of the younger population looking for fun sporty cars they can afford. Bad news, Three students are critically injured in another school shooting, one of them the shooter. Bad News, 6 dead in Israel at a bus stop shooting. Bad News,  Teen arrested in Washington state with "school shooter ideations." Bad News, Body found in an impounded Tesla, no ID on the body yet. Sickening news, (and I don't even have kids) "School Shooting industry is worth billons - and it keeps growing. This is why I don't read the news. I stopped there, I don't want to read more.

Life is hard in America right now. With inflation and the cost of goods going insane because of tariffs or whatever, it is becoming harder and harder just to make ends meet. Why are we so against our brothers and sisters. Why have we let our differences, our opinions, are views keep us from being human. If you disagree with someone, fine do not follow them, do not watch their content, block them. Follow only who you agree with, its ok. But do not throw away your ability to be a decent human and take the life of someone you disagree with. I believe that the only person that deserves to die is someone that takes the life of another. You murder, you should be put to death. 

We are more than half way done with the horrible 2020s. I long for the days when all people complained about were having to wear masks or not. Truth is people, we need to grow up. Stop being offended by everything. You don't like something or someone, do not cancel them, do not destroy something, speak up, with reasonable thought not feelings. 

Our lives are so short. As I learned this year, your life can be over in the blink of an eye, it can catch you unaware. Let's work together to build a better future now. Not one filled with barriers, dividers, labels, segregation, but love, brotherhood, and an outlook on life that once we all work together, we can conquer the stars. Let's use a little bit of love to guide everything we do. Life and love are always the answer. 

God, please help us to see your reflection in every person, so we may recognize our shared humanity and tear down the walls of prejudice that divide us. Fill our hearts with a love that is patient and kind, binding us together in harmony. Guide our words and actions to be instruments of peace, building bridges rather than burning them. May we work together, hand in hand, for the good of all. Amen.

A New Beginning

I have been gone a long time. Sure, there was a post 2023, but I really haven't been here since 2020 when I felt the call to become a pastor. When I was told no, despite them loving the blog I read to them, I couldn't hear the call any longer. It's amazing how in 2020, some old man who grew up without a computer, probably reading books by candlelight, can still look down on people who play video games to relax. It wasn't even the video games, it was the computer as a whole, he looked down on me because I use the computer to design 3d objects to be able to print and sell. But it is what it is, one cannot be everything to everyone. 

But it really has been a long time. A lot has happened. I moved what store I work at and was put on the manager track. Then I became a manager at my old store when my old boss left the company. I have been doing general manager things for a few months short of 2 years. It's been a wild ride. There is a lot that I wish I could change, a different path leading to a location much like the one I am at now. but I can't change that. 

Now the biggest and best change, I had been dating a woman for a year and a half and been engaged to her for a year. This past January we got married in Brazil and now we have a long process getting her visa to come live here permanently. It all made me scared, but I was looking forward to it, and now I love being married to her.

Recently when I was feeling a little down, probably from exhaustion. I began to think about where I am supposed to be in life. Did I miss God's call, or has it changed, and I am where he needs me to be? I don't know, but I do know I thought a lot about this blog and thought I should do this again, even if no one reads it. I know it will find the right person. 

I want to bring the blog back. Focus on writing more. Maybe more than just what the blog has been, adding more secular things. By that I mean things like my short stories or making new ones, maybe bring back Blog Adventures. You have to be around for a long time to know that one. I want to spend more time with God, more time focusing on his Word and become a better follower of Christ. Not just for myself, but for my wife, for our family and whatever the future may hold. 

I hope you will join me as we start this anew, build this up to be something. Thank you for reading. If you just found me, I hope you stick around. If you have been here for a while now, maybe even the beginning, I thank you for being here. I hope God will use me to be whatever he needs me to be. 

Rambles of a Downer

Many years ago, I applied to become a pastor in the UMC. I ultimately was not accepted but while I was there, the first day and night affected me a lot. It has been a long time since I have thought about this night, but I was not in a good place. I felt lost. Very lost. 

I originally didn't post this as it might be too much honesty, but since all of that is behind me, maybe my thoughts are similar to yours. Maybe they can help you. 

So, I am sitting here in my room at the Residence Inn in Worthington Ohio. It is the end of the first day, and my last night here, of the Candidacy Summit and I should be sleeping in preparation of the next day. Today I met four very wonderful people, whom I hope will be in my life, in some way, many years to the future. My mentor as I go forward through the many steps in wherever my path is heading, and three other candidates who are also going through these steps.

We are all in the same boat, we love God, we want to do what he wants us to do and are throwing ourselves into this. Yet, I feel that if this were a cruise ship, I would be in those tiny rooms with no windows and barely enough room to change clothes and they would have a balcony room. And I am sitting here feeling discouraged.

I hear their stories, how God has done something for them, and I don't have something like that. My mother has her turned over leaves, they have something, and I have, "I said God wanted me to be a pastor, and I ignored it." Not an exciting story. I know that my story is good, that there are those who have "exciting" stories wish they had something like mine. But here is the thing, I have never doubted God existed, never doubted he did stuff for me, but I don't have anything to tell.

I was told I needed to expand on my story, and I do get that, it was three paragraphs, but I managed to put "God said be a pastor, I ignored it." into a three-paragraph story. I think I did pretty good. But that is fine, I need to do that anyways, I knew it wasn't enough. But I kind of saw it as the story of my call on my life. I didn't see any big need for extra detail about my life.

I feel like people take more serious the ones with stories to show how flawed they were, and Jesus still can use them and indeed show His power in everyday life. But I question myself and why God would choose me. What do I have that can help anyone? I haven't had addictions, a bad family, a hard life or anything that people can inspire others with. Why does he want me here when all I want to do is live in the woods with my 3d printers and high-speed internet. God, why me?

My parents are telling me to stay strong, keep going and don't be discouraged. But it's hard when you feel like a fraud, like a fish out of water hopelessly flailing around never to get to water again. 

Drowning in the nothingness.

But I guess that is any big steps. The feeling of being lost. And it is bringing to light failures in my walk with God. I believe, but where is the proof of my faith, what are the fruits. Is God going to cut me down because I haven't born fruit?

What mission am I supposed to complete. Where is he putting my talents to work and why is he so silent? Is it me that is too loud? You can ask anyone in my class, I'm not particularly loud. God is using these people in my class already, but when I am asked, I have no response. I feel so lost.

Lord, help me and put me where I need to be. Help me to be more loving and caring. Move me further into the sea but hold my head above the waters so I can still see you. Lord, help me. Here I am.