I know what you are thinking? "Brian, who reads comments, it is dangerous to go there." But went I did and a comment I read. It was posted by someone wondering if Frodo ever looked back on Boromir with understanding and pity. I thought about that comment. I always felt sorry for Boromir. Even from a distance, the power of the ring consumed him. He believed in the power the ring had and that something powerful like that would be able to defeat evil once and for all.
I think we all have thought about this at some time; If we had more power we could accomplish everything we wanted, maybe even defeating evil. Right away I thought of one person who I am sure thought this way. His name was Judas.
Judas' name will always be tarnished because of his betrayal. Judas did sell out a friend, but I think he did it for what he thought were good reasons. I do not think Judas had a single doubt in his mind about who Jesus was, but every part of him actually believed that Jesus was exactly who he said he was.
When he found out that Jesus wasn't coming to destroy Rome, I think Judas was confused and maybe a little hurt. The Messiah was supposed to come and free Isreal of their oppression. I don't want to go into too much detail here either, this is just a short post that had popped into my mind. But, I think Judas thought he was helping God's plan move forward.
I always felt terrible for Judas. It is clear the other disciples hated him for this. But I felt sorry for him. I look back on Judas with understanding and pity. His sorry was so great that he took his own life. He saw his Lord die on the cross, and not believing what he just did and what just happened he killed himself. I like to think that there were huge tears falling from his face as he begged God to change all of what happened. That he begged with his own life to bring Jesus back.
Just as Boromir's eyes were opened right at the end of his life, Judas saw almost everything. He missed the most important part of all of this: That Jesus was going to be resurrected and then complete his goal, to bring the world back to God's loving arms.
What breaks me the most is if Judas would have waited for two more days, if he would have lived two more days in agony and despair, making up the three worst days of his life, Jesus would have come back. He would have gone to Judas with all the love of God and embraced him and forgave him.
Judas gave in to his grief too soon. I can't blame him for it either. I can't imagine what he was feeling. I just feel so sorry for him. I pity him but I understand him. His heart was just too broken by his actions.
If you ever get to the point that it seems easier to end your own life, wait. Wait two more days, then wait two more, then two more. There will come a time when someone will come up to you with open arms and full of love that will forgive whatever you have done and help you learn to forgive yourself. Someone will find you, tell you how important you are to them, and never want to let you go. There will be love, happiness, and life. Sometimes you just need to wait just a little longer. The world is better off with you in it. I am better off just knowing you.
If there is ever a moment you need to talk with someone, reach out to me. Please, I want to hear from you. If not me, reach out to someone, anyone, let them know. I know many pastors who would sit down and talk with you all night if need be. You are never truly alone.
