"Tell me this was worth it,
Tell me I will make it,
Tell me all of this was not in vain.
Remind me of your promises,
Remind me of your faithfulness,
Remind me this was never about me."
These are lyrics off of Project 86's newest album Knives to the Future. The song is called White Capstone and to me, they are some of the strongest thought provoking lyrics on it. These lyrics scream out to me, as someone who has dealt and is dealing with depression, someone who has often wondered why things happen, someone who sometimes asks "Why do you hate me God?" Also as someone who sometimes forgets the big picture.
I often need God to remind me of all of this. Sometimes I want to hear him tell me how much it was worth it, that I will make it to the end and it will all be OK. And thankfully God is loving enough that he will tell me these things, he will tell you as well, if you ask him.
Was it worth it? Oh yeah! Somewhere there is a person reading this, who loves God, but feels lost at sea, maybe a bit of depression kicking them in the side. And if that one person feels comfort in reading this, it was more than worth it. All my pain and sadness that has been driven through my heart, was worth every life this can make feel better and enter into a deeper relationship with God.
Will I make it? That is a much harder question to answer. In the end, with little doubt in my mind, I will indeed make it. Right to the very end of all things, and I will finally get to bow at the very throne of the only one worthy to bow before. But between here and there, who knows what might happen. I might only live to see a day more, or preferably, and God willing, I will see 50-60 more years where I can try and show every person that God is worth every scar.
Anyone who has taken to reading any of the end time prophecies in the Bible, knows that none of this was in vain. But in a more personal look at the third line, I think it is a much more personal request. In the song, it is sung from a dead soldiers point of view, and it is something that we think of when we die. Because death is the only place we cant come back from. We want to know, even people who don't believe in God, what the meaning behind it all is, of life, the universe, and everything. The answer is not 42, but it is the destination we aim for. It is who waits there.
I think that when we get to heaven, we will be held accountable for every action we have done, from stealing candy as a kid, to that person that God had asked you to invite to church, but were too afraid to do so. What if you were the only person who could have asked that person to church, who then would have been saved, but because you didn't ask, he was never saved.
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| When my comfort zone ends, Jesus begins. |
I do not want that to happen to me, though I am very scared it might when I get there, but I want to live each day making sure I don't miss a chance to witness and bring to Christ, new people. Then the answer to is all this in vain will be a resounding No.
Then to make sure we continue to work on keeping Christ in the center of our day to day, the song says, Remind me of your promises. In all the promises made every day, God is the only one who will keep every promise he's made. He will do everything he says he will do, when it is the right time. And each promise should also remind you of how unbelievably faithful he is to his children.
God has shown me, time and time again, his faithful love for me, my family and the whole world. I watched a video the night I wrote this about a group of people in a band called No More Music who were touring Albania, which happens to be a primarily Muslim country. As God worked in the hearts of those that came to listen to the band, my heart broke and I found myself praising with the video how great God's works are, how he loves us so much, and how he will always be faithful because of that amazing love.
In America, we have pastors teaching you that God wants you to be happy, be rich, never worry, and never have a bad life. These pastors are telling you a half lie. It is true God wants to give you everything, but this isn't about you. Some pastors out there are saying you can be rich by believing God will make you rich. They are pushing themselves, and the people that listen to them, into the spotlight, instead of allowing God to live there. They make the day to day all about them, but forget that this isn't about us. This is all about God and his Glory.
I have added this section of the song to my prayers from time to time. In a way, they are simple pleas to our Lord for comfort and reassurances in a world where people hate us simply because we claim Jesus. Times will continue to get harder, and we will find ourselves depending and leaning on God more and more. (Which I think is the way it should be anyways.) And as our hearts are breaking or our moods fall into the void, we have a theme in our prayers to hang on to. God is there, he will save us, he will make all wrongs right, everything new, and he will reign forever.
