My Train of Thought

A thought occurred to me the other day, kinda based on some of the stuff in the movie Interstellar, and thinking about Jesus on the Cross. I know that seems weird to combine but in the movie, they make some rather lame claim that people can evolve into 5th dimensional beings. I personally think that is very absurd, this is not the place for that, at least right now. However, what struck out at me was that when (spoiler!!) the main character was in the black hole, he could see all the various moments in time as well as alternate timelines where the choices where made differently. He was able to scroll through time to find the right moments. All of time was right before him.

Then because it was the Christmas season I was thinking about Jesus dying for us on the cross. That he died for everyone's sin, giving the ability for anyone to have their sin washed away. My train of thought kinda went like this. (This is greatly abbreviated, truth is this probably took most of my dad's sermon.) God used thousands of years to line up everything so Jesus could be born so that he could line everything up so that he could die, that would line everything up for the salvation of the world.

Then I was thinking about how God can probably look at any point in time whenever he wants it, since he is not bound to the annoying arrow of time. Then I thought back about how the guy could see all the various timelines and scroll through any time he wanted. Like at this very second in time, there are for each person, three options before them. God knows what will happen in each one, but he waits to see which option we take. After all, we do have freewill. Then my thoughts come back to the Cross.

In all of creation, it is probably the only point in time that could not change. All of everything that ever could have been was choked down to this single moment in time. This one day was the defining moment of all of mankind's existence. All freewill funneled down on to Jesus. Then everything expanded back up into the whatever it looked like before. Then, since I had been picturing time looking like a pencil, where the middle of it was very narrow, not tapered in the middle, just a hairline break in it, and it was only connected by an atom, I thought of God holding time in his had just looking at all the stuff that has and will happen.

The Crucifixion would be time 0.

That thought got me back to how God was outside of time, not bound to it, and since all of time was something that he is aware of at all times, that the death of Jesus was, in a way, happening all the time. Which then got me thinking about how much I sin, and as much as I hate to say it, big of a sinner I am.

My heart is full of sin, as is my mind and my body. It constantly works against what I want, to fulfill it's own sinful desire. And since I am a sinner every day, Jesus is dying every day, stuck in that single moment of time, that one atom of time, because of me. Because of you. Because of us all. Maybe that is a deep hidden meaning when Jesus said:

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."

 If Jesus is dying at any given moment one chooses to look at the tiny bit of the pencil, then it would make sense that his followers also die every day. Paul said:

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

 So if we were crucified with Christ, and it is not us who live, but Christ in us, then we are surely to do it every day at least, if not every moment of every day.

Then after my thoughts began to wander toward tacos. I do love tacos.

Ashamed or Just Scared?

I was musing, as I so often do, in the shower one morning, when a thought came to me and I proceeded to talk to myself about it and ponder why. I wondered why do more people not share the wonderful peace and love of God? I thought a bit, and wondered about myself then, am I secretly ashamed of my God?

Is shame a reason to why there are not more people standing on the corner telling every person that walks by the amazing things God has done for them and what he wants to do for everyone. I really don't like to think that I am ashamed of God, but what is it that keeps me from sharing and is this the same that keeps you from sharing.

Or maybe it is fear buried in the lack of sharing among Christians. Fear leads us into directions we don't always want to go. The fear of being unwanted. I don't want to be labeled one of "those" people, a "nutter" as my sister might say now. I don't want to be hated, though Jesus told us we would be. I don't want to deal with troubles, have fights, and be uncomforted because others think I'm a crazy person, or an unintelligent person, or simple minded, naive, or anything bad. I just want to live a happy, peaceful, get along with everyone that is nice, life. Does my fear of being thrown out really mean there is some shame in it?

This is what went through my head. Does our fear keep us ashamed of who we really are? Jesus told us to go out there and make disciples of all nations, yet many of us aren't even willing to make disciples in our own communities. We wont invite people to church, we leave every morning, our neighbors still in bed and our minds don't even think twice on them. Though people may argue, I kinda think this is a bit of shame on our part, or at least some embarrassment. 

I have never been the type of person that likes to get up in front of people, even if I know them, and talk. Every time I had to do that in school, I would get all jerky, mean, and sick feeling. When it was over, I would melt, relieved the stress was gone and zone out the rest of the class. I even would make sure my work was only every average in class because some teachers liked to point out how some students did really well on the tests. I did not want to be seen. I wanted to pass on by unnoticed, so I never had to deal with anything.

But this is not what God has called us to do. I find myself compelled to write out on here, put myself out where people can actually see me (figuratively speaking). I don't put up the shell of protection as I do in real life, but this isn't the same as going out there. This is staying where I am safe and looking through a window leaving notes for people to find in hopes that maybe, just maybe, they might see God, feel his love, and join us in his endless praise.

This isn't enough. I know this and I am willing to bet many of you can see this in your own life. You sleep in late, skipping church all together now, or just attend the holidays. Maybe you do go often, but you don't bother talking about it to your friends or coworkers. 

Everyone at work knows I go to church, though they might not see God in my life every day, I still talk about how great he is, but only when no customers are in the store. I cant get rid of this feeling that there is shame behind my love. I know there is shame that I am not better at getting out there, and maybe that is the shame I am feeling, but this feels like there is the shame that we wont be politically correct anymore, that we are on the hated end of the stick. 

Sheep beget sheep. So we must get out there and get the sheep mill going. Be smart when you feel God telling you to talk to this person. Pray quickly, and let him guide your conversation. The Holy Spirit is ready to jump in at a moments notice. If God is for us, how can we ever be ashamed of anything we do for him?

We will be hated, we will be scorned, spit upon, called names that will hurt us very much. We will be hurting emotionally, and physically, but we will never break, we will never die, when we have have God supporting our efforts. We need to get out of our comfort zone, and out there on the streets, praying for people, worshiping God and being a total nutter for Christ.

DC Talk have a song called Jesus Freak, old song, but still good, and I'm sure many of you have heard it, but it says 

"What will people think
When they hear that I'm a Jesus freak
What will people do when they find that it's true
I don't really care if they label me a Jesus freak
There ain't no disguising the truth
(Ain't no disguising the truth, no I ain't hiding the truth)"

We should never be ashamed of God, and who cares of we are labeled and put down? We have Christ. We have life. We will be with him forever. So we should have no fear in our lives. This is a war, so as any good warriors do, before we go down, we take as many as we can with us. Just this time, we take as many as we can to life with us. So if you read this, and you feel that maybe there is a bit of shame in there, or at least caused you to think for a minute, just take a moment and pray. God is ready to reformat your life.