Even as little as six months ago, I was a big fan of a certain company I will not name. I really liked what they were doing, I liked who was running the one close to me, and was very excited to see how things were going to improve overall. I was big enough into all of it, that I thought about putting my future deeper into theirs. But then something happened with someone there, an ending of a relationship with someone else, and things began to change.
First it was small, people change after long relationships and that was fine. But months went by, new relations were made, yet still things did not go back to what they once were. And I found myself on the outside of what I was so willing to be on the inside just a short time ago. It has been just about a year now since I took a step toward being more of a company man and suddenly I found myself in a spot that leaves me with a bad, bitter, taste in my mouth. Like spoiled milk.
There are people that simply do not care about what goes on, they are only there for a paycheck, yet they are left unchecked. Several key people that had been with the company for a long time, are looking for work elsewhere, because they can see that things are not going to change. Which leaves me in a spot I would rather not be in. I still believe in the company, but just not those who are controlling it. I do think the controllers do love the company they work for, but they have taken a backwards approach and instead of talking and building people, they make passive-aggressive comments when in ear shot.
I have now become to resent the company, which is affecting me more than it should. I am having a hard time climbing into happy these days, and is giving me a very negative outlook on life in general. And also has me worrying for what the future may hold.
"But these are the times that try men's souls," as the saying goes, "The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman." I know this has nothing to do with the Revolution, but part of this still is true. If I was to shrink from service, because I was depressed, or angry, I would be nothing. The hard times come so we can be stronger in the future. My service is to Jesus, not to man and companies.
Maybe this is what Jesus has been getting me ready for, to move toward something more brave and bold than a big corporation. Maybe this is first step, letting go of the things in my life that I thought were great to take claim of something even greater. We go through hell and emerge stronger and better than we were before. Jesus takes the broken, mends them, and releases them renewed and rebuilt. Maybe it is time for me to do some corporate rearranging in my life so that God can shine from me.
