Story of Konowa: Part 3

Being able to be someone else for a short time is so amazing and free. But I found that that feeling only lasts for a short time. Eventually you have to come back to the real world, and back to your life. So many people, me included, think "If only I could go away and become someone else, I would be happier." We all have a desire to be who we want to be, and be free.

People are searching for this their whole lives. They work hard to make a name for themselves, lose themselves in books, games, or whatever they can. We work hard to be happy and some of us even push others down to make ourselves happier. It seems to be the struggle of the era. One we will all fall prey to over and over again.

But what if I told you that you really don't have to work hard for it. What if you could be exactly who you want to be without any effort at all. When I was playing WoW for hours and hours a day, I slowly began to lose myself by trying to be someone else. I kept searching hard for who I thought I was without ever looking at who I really was. Then I finally realized the truth. It was something that had actually freed me years ago. 

I was a Christian. I was already free to be who I am. In fact, God wants us to be exactly who we are. He made us to be this way and he made us to be companions. When I started writing this, lyrics to one of my favorite bands popped into my head. Showbread wrote a two ablums, released at the same time, one was called Anorexia, the other Nervosa. They tell a story that compliments each other but have an amazing message within them. At the end of the Nervosa album, Nervosa, lying broken and dying within her deep hole she has dug, wakes in a sunlit field and finds that she has been carried to safety by a small lamb who died in the process of rescuing her. The lamb however, resurrects and explains that he had given his life to save Nervosa simply to fulfill his lifelong desire to be with her.

"I have been with you all along, you have not noticed me.' 
Nervosa now felt more ashamed than ever before. 
'Why would you still care enough to save me 
even after seeing the horrible things I have done? 
Why do you remain here even now?' She asked, sobbing. 
'Because, here is where you are,' the Lamb said softly, 
'And I long to be with you.'' 

This is the story of Christ and what he has done for us. He wants to be with us, just as we are, because it has always been his desire from the beginning of time. Jesus is the truth that truly sets us free. We are free to be ourselves, to laugh more, and to be happier more. I know I have said this before, but when I started to actually want to learn more about God, and to do what he wants, I became a happier, better person.

In World of Warcraft, I had crafted a person who was not perfect, he had flaws and he died. He was a mirror of real life even though I wanted him to be something completely different. He was still me, still broken and I was still not happy.

Caly and Kon standing in a beam of light in front of a full moon.

I now look back and I see me in Konowa. He was the best of me as well as the worst of me, written out for everyone to be able to read. His actions were my thoughts. He did what I wanted to do, but could not. Now I can look at him and see that that is not me anymore. I found who I was inside. I like this me a lot more than the old me. Konowa still exists, but his evil deeds, the murder, the blood lust, the lies, the brokenness has been washed away.

Through Christ, I am new. I am a better me until I my faith becomes site, and I am made into the perfect me. I am human. I will fall again, but it has already been forgiven. I can now always be myself, because that's just who I am. Sometimes I am an ass, sometimes I am prince charming, sometimes I am a coward, and sometimes I am a superhero, but I am always me.

It is my prayer, that if you are reading this and don't already know Christ and what it is like to be who you are and who you really want to be, that you take a moment to talk to God. It is simple, but the end game is so far beyond anything you can imagine. I am not going to write things you should say, that is for you and God. But be open and honest, because He already knows the real you, after all he made you.

Recommended reading: Start here with the Gospel of John. 

Story of Konowa: Part 2

Much of this story was thought up on the spot when one day Caly and I were sitting in Winterspring. I told her out of character that this would be the place where Kon was from. Soon we got back into characters and the basis of this story was told. The pain my character felt, slowly leaking into me, it made me sad. But as you will read, hopeful too. 

Since then I have back stories to several other characters, though not all written down. I wrote bits of a story for a guild I was in, the story from my perspective. I had a lot of fun, and would love to do something like it again.

Weird thing was I was always comfortable with role playing my character, but when it got into a large group of people, I had a hard time and mostly sat there not talking unless spoken too. Several of the people from the guild helped push me out of that, and more of my characters were able to come out. It was nice to combine a game I loved to play, with my writing that I love so much to do. 

Below is the last part of the story of Konowa. Warning: This section is very violent. It has a lot of senseless violence that is pivotal to the development of the character.

The orc drew a knife with his other hand and made a slice on the boy’s cheek. Konowa’s son cried from the pain but his eyes never left his fathers. The orc made a few more cuts to his son. Then with a quick jab, he stabbed the boy in the stomach, twisting the blade to cause maximum damage. The boy spit up blood and his eyes began to roll. The boy had no strength to scream anymore. As the blood dripped to the ground, his life began to fade. Konowa kept his son’s gaze as long as he could. Finally, the orc threw the dying boy into the burning house behind him.

The boy cried for a short time before the smoke and the fires ended his pain. Konowa could not even find the strength to cry for his son. Then the troll pulled a jagged knife from his belt and held Konowa’s wife by the hair. “Joo will suffer mon, more dan any otha.” Then with a single swipe, the troll sliced his wife’s throat and dropped her in front of him. He watched as the blood ran from her neck staining the ground red. Her eyes held neither fear nor pain. He saw only the love she had for him since they met. He tried to hold onto that love, if only for a little while.

She faded quickly from the living. Konowa felt the last sting of humanity break in him. He let himself go limp, slowly choking his own life away. The orc saw this and walked over. “It is not your time yet. I will decide when it is that you die.” The orc took the bloody knife he used to stab Konowa’s son and cut the robe holding Konowa up. He could feel his binding being cut, but he didn’t have the strength to try to fight.

The orc kicked him a few more times before he issued commands to leave the area. After the soldiers where packed and filled with as much loot as they could carry, the warlord came back to Konowa. “Now you will die. But know this before you do, your wife didn’t even try to fight me.” He then turned his back on the beaten Konowa and walked away.

With what little strength Konowa had left, he got to his feet and charged the warlord. He jumped onto his back and grabbed his head tight. With a single swift twist, Konowa snapped the orcs neck and almost twisted the head off. He grabbed the swords of the warlord and got ready to fight his last fight. The swords in his hand seemed to give him power he hadn’t felt before. He looked down and saw a name etched on the blade of the swords, Bloodrazor. He was carrying twin swords, swords that had a thirst for blood.

He moved swiftly into the group of orcs and began to slice through them. He felt a swelling inside him, none like he had ever felt. The feeling was wonderful. In what felt like a few seconds, the orcs were dead and all that stood before Konowa now was the one troll.

“What joo thinken mon. Want ta try dis?” The orc twirled a sword in each hand. Konowa stepped forward swinging his sword at the troll. He was quick. The troll rolled to the side and swiped at Konowa. Konowa dodged nicely and struck at the troll. The troll parried and spun. Stepping in, he hit Konowa hard in the back with the pommel of the sword. Konowa fell forward as he fell he spun slicing the troll’s thigh leaving a large wound pouring blood down the troll’s leg. The troll fell to the ground.

Konowa got up and walked over to the troll. He looked down at the troll. As the troll moved for a weapon, Konowa swiped with his sword and took the hand from the troll. “You took all that I had, as you said you would. Now know this, I will hunt down everyone of your family. Until there is nothing of your blood left in the troll race. When I find that troll that was special to you, and I will find her, I will slowly kill her and tell her that this was a present, with love, from you.” Konowa then sliced a single wound open on the troll’s chest and a single slice at the back of the troll’s foot. Konowa then turned and walked away. The wound wouldn't kill the troll, it was only meant to hurt, but the slow loss of blood from the hand will. His death would be long and painful.

Konowa went into the fire and removed his son’s body. He turned over a cart and placed his son and his wife beside each other. He kissed them both for the last time and lit the cart on fire. He turned around and began walking away, absently rubbing the forth finger on his left hand. Fires had burned the ring into his finger. He would be left with a scar in place of his wedding band.

Konowa left Winterspring that day with two new swords and nothing left to loose. He worked his way back to Darkshore and then headed to Stormwind. He found a place to stay and began to take on jobs killing any horde he could. Konowa became a mercenary and he was good. He made himself a name among the seedy side of the Alliance. He was the go to man now.

Years passed. Konowa had become such a hard man that if he ran into one of his old friends, they did not even know it was him. The joy and love in his eyes were replaced with death. He had managed to find the troll’s family, neatly settled in a small town south of Orgrimmar. He did exactly as he said he would. The slow deaths of the troll’s wife and children did not bring Konowa any comfort or peace. He felt nothing when it was done. Just another troll family dead. A few less soldiers for the Horde.

One afternoon, Konowa heard about an offer that he couldn't pass up. Head to Northrend with Prince Arthas in search of Mal’ganis. The amount for a 6-month trip into Northrend was too good to pass up. He gathered what he might need and headed to Stormwind Harbor to sign up. In a day, he was on his way north.

When Arthas betrayed his men on the shores south of Wintergarde Keep, Konowa was among the ones that felt that bitter pain. As Konowa laid breathing heavily on the ground, Arthas stepped over him. Konowa grabbed his leg. “Why…” he said hoarsely. “Why would you betray your own men?”

Arthas looked down at the dying Konowa, “The Scourge must be stopped. At all cost.” Konowa’s sight began to get hazy. He could feel his lungs filling with his own blood. Konowa died with a soft cough, alone on the shores of Northrend.

The darkness was all around him. It was not a comforting darkness, nor was it a terrifying one. It was just there. He was just there. He felt something pulling him forcing him out of the darkness. A violent hand scratching and pulling him down. It was cold fingers digging into his soul. A pestilence creeping into the wounds. Blood dripping into the darkness.

Konowa awoke in a dark ziggurat chained to a cold stone table. He felt the cold but it did not bother him. He tried to look around but his sight was still blurry. In the distance, he could hear a cold voice calling orders.

Konowa was released from the bindings and was given some clothes to put on. His robes hung loosely on him. He then was summoned by his new master. Konowa knelt before the Lich King. As the Lich King spoke, Konowa could hear his voice in his head. His every command was a pleasure to comply with.

Time passed and the Death Knights won their freedom from the Lich King. Bringing Konowa’s own voice back into his head. Konowa wondered around the lands trying to find a way to fit in. He remembered little of his time before his death. He eventually found a hovel with a few mercenaries in it. He talked to them and found a place with them. Though they let him in, they were weary of him. They knew too, the atrocities that the Lich King and his Death Knights had done.

Soon after joining them, he began to remember his past life. The way he used to kill. He remembered the joy he felt when he would remove the head of an orc. He soon found that he was even better as a Death Knight than he was when he was alive. He found he enjoyed it more.

One day he was ridding hard toward a small Horde village he happened upon a beautiful woman walking along the road. She had her long white hair falling around her shoulders. She walked as if she feared nothing. He looked down at her as he rode by; she smiled at him. Her smile was beautiful and sincere. He was unprepared for a smile like this. As he turned to look at her behind him, a low branch caught him and he crashed to the ground.

The woman ran over to him quietly laughing. “Are you OK?” she said as she reached down to help him up. “That was quite the fall you had.”

“I’m fine.” Konowa said as he picked himself up. He was angry with himself but he was also embarrassed. He turned to look at her. Her eyes were shinning with a radiance he hadn't seen in a very long time. He tried to speak but he could not find the words. He opened his mouth to speak several times but every time he said nothing.

“I’m Calypsio, nice to meet you,” she said smiling at him.

“I’m Konowa.”

Konowa and Calypsio in Winterspring.

What follows is a different story. What follows is not the story of Konowa anymore, but of Konowa and Calypsio. And that story, my friends, is for another time.

Story of Konowa: Part 1

When I first got into World of Warcraft, it was because of my friend Adam. He played for a long time before me, and had many friends spread across many servers. He brought one friend over to play with me, I first knew her as ScarletDawn. Soon, however, I would know her as Calypsio. She and I played closely for months, waking up early, staying up late, having a great and wonderful time.

Eventually I followed her to one of her main servers to play with her there. I created a Death Knight so I wouldn't be so far behind her in levels, and we continued to play months more. The realm we were on was a role playing one. Most people on there had whole stories of their characters, I would be no different. 

ScarletDawn with her cat, DarkestHour

I liked the fact that I could make a character and actually live his life, to a point, every day I played. Though he didn't become my main, he was the first to have a whole story. His name was Konowa. A name I had used previously on a hunter, which I took from the fantastic series, The Iron Elves. I even started a guild where I wanted to role play my own version of the series. 

Konowa had a whole life, which was brought to an end against his will and then a new one was forced upon him. I wrote this thinking about how I might send it into a Blizzard writing contest, but I didn't. I kept it for myself and only let a few people read it. 

This was one of the biggest parts of my WoW experience. Being someone else for a short time, and escape to get my mind off the day and, for me, start fresh each day. Below I am going to share part of that story with you. Because of the size, I am going to split it up into two parts. I hope you enjoy the first part. Warning: It does contain a large amount of fighting.

The snow fell softly on the house as Konowa walked out and headed to the logging camp. He had a small home in the woods in the northern part of Winterspring where he lived with his wife. They had moved there just after getting married and they loved it. Konowa was a lumberjack by trade and worked for a logging company. His job was to cut the trees down so that other could cut them up and ship them out. He enjoyed the job, as he did not have to deal with the nonsense of the cities.

His wife was the most beautiful person he had known. Her hair was long and she kept it back in a loose braid when she worked around the house. She had her work cut out for her as she got the whole house ready for the birth of their baby.

The months flew by and the day came that Konowa met his son for the first time. He had run miles to get home just in time to hear his wife begin to cry as she held their newborn son. Smiling, he sat down on the bed and slid close to his wife. She was hot and sweat was dripping down her and she looked a bit like hell, but at that moment, she was gorgeous and glowing so brightly that he thought his heart might burst with happiness.

I simply love Winterspring. I find the whole zone so peaceful.

The years passed much to fast but soon his son was a boy. He began to get interested in his fathers work. Some days when mom was not looking he would sneak off and run to the logging camp to find his dad, who was always working hard to cut a tree down. The boy smiled as he watched his father work. Konowa had seen his son come into the camp but he had a deadline to meet and had to get this tree down. The boy walked closer to where Konowa was and began to talk about all the nonsense that children talk about. It warmed Konowa’s heart when the boy would say “Daddy, when I grow up I want to cut trees like you.”

Konowa would go home each day and have a dinner with his wife. When they finished, Konowa would tell stories of the ancient elves that fought great evil long ago. He would tell stories of brave warriors that would face the horde and keep the Night Elves safe.

Sometimes the boy would ask questions about the warriors. “Daddy, why don’t you fight the horde?”

“Because son,” Konowa said as he smiled down at his son. “Each of us has a roll to do in the greater war. Some men are called to fight while others are called to help. I have been called to help. Without the wood from these trees, we could not rebuild homes, build defenses around our towns, or make weapons to defend ourselves. With out the trees that we cut here, the horde would surely overrun us.”

Every night, Konowa would pick his son up, give him a tight hug, and place him into his bed. He would say prayers with his son and then tuck him into bed. As he stood up, he would kiss him on the forehead and rustle his hair. Then Konowa’s wife would come in, kiss him good night and blow out the candle near the bed. Konowa would hold his wife’s hand as they walked out of the room and closed the door. They never closed the door all the way, because at least once a night his wife would sneak by the door and peak in on her son.

One day when Konowa was hard at work on the far side of Winterspring, he heard some men talking softly while they looked west toward the town. Konowa turned to yell at them to get working when he noticed a slight darkness in the sky. He watched for a few minutes until he realized what it was. He threw his saw down and grabbed a pair of axes out of a stump. Then men looked at him and it took them a moment more to realize that haze was smoke. The village was on fire.

He jumped on the back of one of the carthorses, rode hard, and fast toward the village. As he got closer, he could hear the sounds of screaming and crying, sounds of steel against steal and the war cries of the horde. Konowa ran past the village proper and ran toward his home. Dismounting when he got close, he ran toward a group of orcs throwing burning torches onto his house.

With no form to his hacks, Konowa began to chop at the orcs as if they were trees. Konowa’s muscles were tuned for hard hits. In a single stroke, he cut arms off, severed legs and spilled the guts of his enemies. As he was fighting hard against the orcs, he heard his wife calling for help. Her screams were full of fear and she coughed hard from the smoke. Konowa dodged the best he could but the orcs were many. In a flurry of wild swings, he managed to clear a path to his house.

Konowa was covered in orc blood as he dropped the axes and ran into the fire. He first grabbed his son and pulled him out of the house. Making sure there were no orcs out here, he ran back in and pulled his wife from the flames. As he exited the house, he saw his son in the arms of a powerful looking warlord. Konowa gently set his wife down against a tipped over cart and grabbed his axes.

Konowa charged the horde general. The orc tossed his son to the side and laughed as his swings missed. The orc threw a kick that hit Konowa in the back and he stumbled but did not fall. He turned and began to hack at the orc. Each swing the orc sidestepped or dodged. The orc threw an armored fist and hit Konowa hard in the side of the head. He fell hard to the ground. His vision began to blur and he could feel the blood dripping down his neck from his ear.

Konowa tried to stand up but the orc threw a kick hard into his ribs. The orc laughed as Konowa was sent flying back. He tried to stand again as the orc shot an arrow into his arm and he fell to the ground again. The warlord walked over to Konowa and, with one hand, picked him up from the ground. He leaned in close and whispered something in Konowa’s ear.

Konowa tired to throw a punch but the orc was faster and hit Konowa hard in the face with his head. Konowa could feel his nose collapse and the blood flow freely. He could no longer focus on anything. The orc warlord laughed again and pulled Konowa close. He whispered in his ear again, this time in a very rough and accented common. As Konowa’s head began to dip, the orc smiled at Konowa and threw him hard several feet back. Konowa’s world went black.

Flying over Winterspring.

When Konowa woke up, he was on his knees tied to a pole. The ropes were tight around his wrists, which were tied behind his back. His arms were tied tight against him, and he was leaning forward with two ropes tied around his neck. One rope was tied to the pole to choke him if he leaned forward too much and the other was tied to the ground in front of him so he could not lean back.

He heard the orcs laughing and a child crying. As Konowa sight came into focus, he looked to see his son, badly beaten and crying in a small ball. He saw his wife weeping silently and lying still a few yards to his right. Her clothes were torn and she had blood covering her. Konowa’s heart broke when he saw his family.

The orc warlord walked over to Konowa accompanied by a troll dressed in war paint. The troll looked down at Konowa and said something to the orc. Konowa hated not knowing what they were saying. He looked over to his wife and a fire lit inside him. He began to struggle to break free of the bonds. The troll laughed and smacked Konowa hard. He then walked over to Konowa’s wife.

Konowa could feel his one eye swollen from the beatings, but when he looked at his wife, his sight was clear. The troll picked her up by the hair and tossed her to the ground closer to Konowa. The orc picked up Konowa’s son by the neck. The boy struggled and kicked but there was nothing he could do to make the orc let go. The orc looked at Konowa and said in his rough voice, “I will make you watch them die. I will take all that you know and burn it to the ground.”

The Great C'Thulhu Conspiracy

C'Thulhu. Everyone has seen the name, some people know it more intimately. I imagine some people may even fear the coming of the Great Old Ones. But I think it is just a name, but a might cool one. I have tried to research the name, but it seems Lovecraft made the name up.

But I was looking things up over on etymonline.com the other day, and I decided to look up the word catholic. I knew it meant universal, but I wondered where it actually came from. Here it is.

catholic (adj.) 

mid-14c., "of the doctrines of the ancient Church," literally "universally accepted," from French catholique, from Church Latin catholicus "universal, general," from Greek katholikos, from phrase kath' holou "on the whole, in general," from kata "about" + genitive of holos "whole" (see safe (adj.)). Applied to the Church in Rome c.1554, after the Reformation began. General sense of "of interest to all, universal" is from 1550s.

I was reading that and when I came to the word Kath'holou I paused.  Could it be? Did Lovecraft name his old god after the church.. What if it is really a secret from as far back as the mid 14th century or even later? C'thulhu, in general, on the whole, an elder god.

I think it is no denying it, C'thulhu and the Catholic church have very much in common. Both sleep endlessly, and when they do awaken, the whole world is in trouble. Both have their secret societies and powers that be running them.

Since I came across this discovery, I have been scouring the internet and libraries for more references and clues, but I soon discovered a dark and terrible underworld that runs like veins through our way of life. It has been a long time since I began researching this, and I want to share what I have learned so far.

People say the Illuminati run the world, or the Masons, or the Templars, or whoever you want to pick. The whole of this world is secretly run by Great Old Ones. They have secretly clawed their way into every dark part of our society and even now are controlling what we write and say. They control what we see on TV and what the news is reporting. They are everywhere.

That is what worries me about posting this. They may read this and know that I am catching on. They may send the authorities to arrest me or worse, I may disappear. But if the world is kept unaware for much longer, we may never be able to win our freedom.

I send this message out to the internets, beware the coming of C'thulhu. The threat is real,  the prophets spoke truth. It was an amazing job they did to cover up what Lovecraft had written. Label it as fiction and fantasy. Push the madness aspect beyond what it really is so it all sounds made up. Lovecraft was right. He learned first hand.

Just the past week, I had been contacted by a man who began talking about what I was piecing together already. At first I was skeptical, but the more he talked, the more I realized he was right. The resistance is bigger than I would have thought. We are growing every day. Now it is your turn to join. Speak up and we will find you.

Stand against the rising. We still have time to end what they have begun. Do it for humanity, for your children, and our future. Let us put an end to the corruption and lies. Our resistance has already begun.

Guns Don't Kill

I recently bought a gun. I have never owned, nor even shot a gun. Honestly I am not sure I have even been around a gun being shot outside of a few BB guns when I was a kid. We looked at several guns  and decided that a .22 would be a good learning gun. For some reason we never really wanted a gun as I was growing up, but we now feel it is not a bad item to own.

We looked at a few of the .22 hand guns and finally decided on getting the Ruger SR22. It had some of the best reviews in the caliber and was on sale which put it right into the range of my pocket.

My gun. Picture courtesy of Ruger.com

We bought a few rounds of ammo, and began to learn about gun safety and proper usage. I wanted to just take the gun and begin shooting. So many years of playing video games and watching movies I knew all I needed to know. Turns out they do teach you a lot of it, but not all. I learned a bit more, talked to people who have shot for a while, even talked to people from the military. I feel confident I will not shoot my toes off nor anyone's face. Well, I still might do the last, but at least it will be with confidence and in self-defense. (This is a complete joke, anyone that knows me, I am an angry pacifist (quick to anger but I hate to fight) but I realize the need for means of defense of my family, friends, myself and the liberties our ancestors fought so hard for.)

I am proud to be among the owners of guns. When I look at the gun, I smile. It is small, but it feels nice in my hands, and in a way, is a beautiful piece of equipment. When I am holding it, I feel.... different. I do not know the words I should use, but there is a difference I feel. As I get older, I believe all people should learn to use guns. Each family should own at least one and be taught respect and responsibility. But that will never happen because there are people that think guns are not safe. Those are also probably the people who think it is wrong to discipline their children, but I am not writing this to complain about things, or say who is wrong or right, frankly I don't care about their opinions on guns since that is THEIR opinion and they are entitled to it. (As long as they acknowledge that I am entitled to my own as well.)

I asked my friend to describe how he feels while holding a gun, he told me:

"Honestly I view a gun as a tool, so helpful would be my words of choice."

Greg is a Marine and a good friend. I think his helpful comment is a very good way to describe it. Guns are tools and I think any actual tool, hammer, screwdriver, saw, car, muscles, even nail clippers, when given to someone who would will harm on others, can be a weapon. I do not view owning a gun as owning a weapon, it is a tool like any other. Carpenters use their hammers for a living, the military uses guns for a living. They are tools, when used in the proper manner, can build us the amazing world we live in. When used wrong, they bring us untold amounts of pain. I will not go into what is right and wrong. That is outside of the scope of the blog. I just wanted to talk about my excitement at buying a gun.

I am looking forward to the learning of using the gun as a tool to keep everything I hold dear safe. Guns are such a hot topic right now but I just wanted to talk about the excitement involved with them as well. I look forward to buying more of them, different styles and sizes and learning them as well.

I am going to end this blog here, because my mind is beginning to wander into freedom and what that means to me and what so many are displaying as what it means to them. So thanks for reading.