Sermon: Strangest Day

I've really been struggling to get any ideas down on paper or screen. Every time I think of something and start talking it out in my head, or out loud to myself if no one is near by, I don't have the means to put any of it to letter. It's been a while since I have been struggling with this, so-to-speak, writers block as you can tell if you read my blog posts here. They have been rather few and far between.

Things have been stirring in my head though, recently I talked to the Superintendent of the district our church is in about becoming a local pastor. It's a step and I have another step coming up for which I am pretty nervous. But all of this has got me thinking, how strange it is to be on a journey which I know not the destination.

For so long I, and I imagine many other Christians, have been comfortable where we are. But it doesn't mean it is doing any of us any good. I think we have lost sight of the goal, what we want when we turn to the cross each Sunday morning. What we all should be striving for each day. What we have to simply remember, Jesus. We have grown deaf and dumb to all that is around us. The hurt the world is in. Maybe it is too much for our minds to bear, but it is still there. Maybe we aren't even awake yet.

We are here in this long long story of God. This story started long before time existed, before any bang ever happened, in the infinity stretching back to always. We are here for God. It is rather hard to understand, I think I even confused myself a little bit there. I often wonder why God even wanted to make us, what was the point, what was the thinking. Then I think of all the stuff mankind has done. Look at our imagination and the thinks we have dreamt of in movies, books and our dreams. Look at the accomplishments man has made, we have left the confines of our planet and walked on the moon. We have stared so deeply into space that we have seen things hundreds of thousands of years ago. We have computers that rival the power and depth of our own minds. (Thankfully we do not have AI running amok yet.) We have art, music, and capacity for great love. We manage to capture a tiny, tiny speck of the abundance of all that God is.

Yet we hold on to ourselves. We cling tightly to all that we can do, because what we can do is really great. I like to think that when God said "Let us make man in our image" he completely meant all of the stuff we are capable of such as arts, sciences, maths, love. I feel like those 4 things are really important to humanity, but this isn't about those. This is about letting go of all we know.

So far, in the few tiny steps I have made, I feel there is a change occurring inside my head and my heart. I feel that God is rearranging me for his goal. It's a very small change, and one that I often overwrite in an attempt to hang on to me. But I am trying to let go, giving up me, for Christ. And when I manage to let some of it stick, it is beautiful. When someone does something stupid, like driving 3 miles an hour under the speed limit, I think, "This guy should not be allowed on the road," then I think, "but God loves him, that is good enough for me."

It is a strange feeling, loving someone even when you don't want to and it shows us how much more to life there is than we can ever know. We might not see the seed we planted turn into anything, but knowing we planted it, it feels great. I find it hard to love people when I am at my best, but with each little thing I give to God, I find it easier to love, easier to live and to trust. It is easier to have faith and say, "Here I am, Send me."

I was a child the first time I heard the song "Here I am Lord." But it is a song that has always stuck in my head. I feel like it was the first song God used to call me to be a pastor. The chorus is so good in its few lines. "Here I am Lord," Right there, the singer is acknowledging that God is calling us. God is calling each of us into a journey with him. He is calling us to do something, anything, that he will use for the continuing of his Glory. For some it is pastoring (Pastorizing anyone? eh?), some it might be mentoring, others to be teachers, some might just be to lend an ear, or offer words that someone needs to hear at that moment. But we have to first answer God, Here I am, Lord.

"Is it I, Lord?" Now we question if we are able to do it. Alone we can't, but God is going to be right there so I think we can. In the readings I have had to go over, and what I am building up to at the end of the month, it talks about being able to discern what God is calling you to do, for me it has always felt that God is calling me to be a pastor, but maybe it will change a little and maybe its more of a specialized place that he has in mind, who knows? I don't but I am going to sit with God and a group of people I don't know and figure things out. I hope.

From bible.com

Then in the chorus "I have heard you calling in the night," We are now realizing that he has been calling us from the day of our birth, into something that is almost like a birthright. That place he had picked out for us so very long ago. Then we finally do it, "I will go Lord, if you lead me, I will hold your people in my heart." We answer that call of the Lord. Sometimes I wish it was an audible one like Samuel or Isaiah. But even if it was, I think I am too deaf to hear him, so he uses people, songs, anything he likes to call us.  We can go do it, I can go do it, if we let Jesus lead us, we can learn to love when we don't want to. It would be such a great joy to be fighting about who is going to go out into the darkness outside, spreading Jesus to the world, instead of fighting about the color of the curtains or how much it is going to cost.

When we let go, and follow Jesus like he asks us to, it will feel like a mistake, we will worry about the money, how we could manage do whatever it is we are doing, and we will worry greatly over all the smallest things, but nothing will prepare us when God will make all things clear. We will break out of our anger and grumpiness, break out of our worry and fear, and it might feel like a very strange day, but it will be just the start of an even more amazing life. We can break out and shout "This is it, it's what we are waiting for, so here I am Lord, send me!"

So I ask you, What has God been calling you to do? Have you shared it with anyone? Have you had support in your calling? A comfrimation? Will you support others as they are called? Will you work together in many callings to spread the word of the Lord to everyone, everywhere?