The Ache in my Heart for WoW

I have mentioned several times, that I play World of Warcraft. Though I have great friends I have met from there, WoW has left me with an emptiness and ache in my heart. It is a hurt that just wont go away, no matter how hard I try to make it. Like any deep wounds, covering it up with a bandage only slows the exsanguination.

When I first sat down to play WoW, I was excited. I had heard great things about the game, and it gave me a chance to play online with my best friend who had recently moved away. I still stuck to the mantra, "Only losers play WoW," until I made my second character. I made a Hunter on a new server to play with my friend and get away from drama on the old server. I instantly fell in love with the class.

Gryphven, Scarletdawn and me posing for the camera

A while later, while waiting for my friend to catch up to me in levels, I made a Mage. I fell in love with the class as well, and for several years following those characters, they were the main two classes I played. I quickly got them both up to max level, which at the time was 80, and had a blast running dungeons and quests with friends all day. If I was not working I was playing with great people that also shared the same love I did.

Then things got rocky on that server and fell apart, I moved my toons back to my first "home" server, Blade's Edge. I was not the first to leave the server, but when my heart was broke by my friends there, I knew there was no place left for me. I say my heart was broke for lack of a better term. What I loved most about the group, the server, my friends, had been broke, and the love of the server was gone.

When I came back to Blade's Edge, it was different, but I quickly fell back in and topped the ranks in my old guild. We were small, about eight of us (I think we topped out about 15 active players) but we played a lot and we did things together. But like cancer, death slowly started to creep in again. Real life situations started taking time away from the other guild members. Friendships were strained, and connections broke. Soon we were down to three, sometimes four people.

I kept playing still. I ran quests, did dailies, ran a few dungeons, and tried my best to keep the love alive. But after a few more months, we were down to two, then to one. For months, out of the twenty friends that I had got close to, I was the only one left. Now some of them might have still been playing, but I had lost contact with them when they switched servers. I was alone and I hated it.

First time killing the Lich King with the guild.

I had two hunters on one server, so I faction changed one to Alliance but I wasn't hoping for much. It would be a short time then I would move him to another server where a friend had moved to. At least I wouldn't be alone  playing. But as fate, or God as I think happened, would have it, I was invited to a guild. The invite was polite, and simply asked if I would give them a chance. I did. That day I joined Gentle Persuasion.

The guild leader was very friendly, and the people were nice. I began doing things with people again. Soon I found myself as an officer, then as a First Officer. I was third in command by rank, and I was happy again. We slowly grew and hit the one-fifty mark, two hundred, and continued upward. We got into raiding, and doing things as a group every night. Things were great. I couldn't have been happier with the guild. But the wound that I had in my heart for the game, kept seeping.

Promotions used to be based on simply helping your fellow guild member. I used to view guilds as a good, working communism. If you worked for the better of yourself and your fellow guild mates, you were rewarded and the group as a whole was made better. But I can see now, that guilds suffer the same fate as real world communism. The problem with it all is the people aren't all like minded.

My guild still continues to grow. As I write this, there are 13 people on which is actually rather low for our normal nights as of late. But I feel the blood seeping out of the bandages that I had wrapped around my dying heart. I am seeing promotions based on something but I have no clue what it is. I see people get promoted three or four ranks as a time, and people that have been in the guild only for a few weeks, in the same ranks as the people who have been here for years.

Toxiccupcake and me killing King Dred in Drak'Tharon

The core of the guild is still here, but there is a stagnate stench of dying overshadowing the wonders of this guild. I have my friends still, who I do not plan on losing touch with. Many of them have moved from the WoW to the real world friend zone. I hope not to lose touch with any of them, and actually get a get together going where we can all meet in real life.

Most of the people do not see what I am seeing, many are still caught up in the newness and wonder of Azeroth. But there will be a time, in the not too distant future, when my blood stops flowing, and I pass beyond the realm of World of Warcraft. I am bleeding out. I keep changing the bandages, but it is only a matter of time. It is strange how much sadness I feel when I think of the game, yet how much love and joy I also feel.

I love World of Warcraft. I love the world, the lore, exploring the amazing sights it has to offer. I will always look back at it with fondness and love. I will always have my memories and a few friends who I met through the game, who I can no longer live without. Friends like Jyntri, Scarletdawn, Naibstilgar, Kouga, Valdyre, Childs, Valentynn, Mortis, Jdemolay, Greengable, Hermanodo, Kizrawr, Loppyrogue, Lovelyme, Ayire, Endoflegends, Taiahu, Gryphven, Pinkusfloydd, Mushiruum, Hammycrush, Alunaria, my dear friend Nariva, my best friend and someone who always makes me smile Toxiccupcake, the love of my life, Hails. These are the people who make this game great. They are the bandages and sometimes the clots that keep me going. Without them, I would have died years ago. As always, thanks for reading.

Me and Nariva enjoying a moon rise for my birthday